My MBA program concludes on May 1, but, for very obvious reasons to everybody except a few students who are willing to risk it all for an $80 cap and gown combo from Jostens, we will not have a formal commencement ceremony. As somebody with a last name beginning with Z, I am personally relieved that graduation is cancelled. You really don’t have an appreciation for how many Smiths exist in the world until you’re two hours into the festivities and there’s still a quarter of the alphabet left between you and lunch.
I recognize that this is not a universal opinion and I am certainly not trying to diminish the moment. There are just so many people with reasons to celebrate who are being deprived the opportunity to do so and who are certainly more deserving of recognition. First-generation college students, recently matched residents, and Olympians are just a few of the groups that come to mind, but there’s nothing that I can really say that will do their accomplishments justice.
However, there is one person worthy of praise who I feel compelled to acknowledge. One person who deserves more than a career-ending quarantine. One person whose skill, athleticism and prosperous, cultured hometown of Daytona Beach (my hometown) deserve a proper farewell tour.
That person, is Vince Carter.
I went to Vince’s basketball camp as a kid. I ate at his (no longer functional, but that’s neither here nor there) restaurant. I played at a table near Vince in Daytona’s finest poker room. And I watched Vince grace Orlando with what I thought was the first of his post-prime years but with what really was the beginning of his second prime because the guy is 43 years old and still hooping.
If Paul Piece warrants a nationwide tour de kissassery, so does Vince Carter. He likely won’t get it, so we’ll do our best to give him the above-the-rim celebration he deserves.
What I watched today on YouTube
A metric shitton of Vince Carter highlights.
Vince went to Mainland High School in Daytona Beach. This is where a teenage Zach Zimmerman first attempted the SATs. From the clip above, you will see that Vince’s performance at Mainland was much more impressive than mine.
He is the best athlete to ever come out of Volusia County. That is not up for debate. Look at the clip at 0:13. This is a high schooler with bionic arms. Look at 2:05. No. 40 is now buried under the court, unable to find his peace. If you can ignore the Star Trek synthesizer time machine music, this is in contention for my favorite high school mix tape on YouTube, and I have watched A LOT of high school mixtapes.
There are plenty of in-game highlights to properly capture his somewhat polarizing stint in Toronto, but the most memorable event was the 2000 dunk contest that lit the world on fire. Dunks have evolved since 2000. The naysayers in the comment section can miss me with their links to some Instagram dunker who performs on Venice Beach. This was and will forever the defining moment of the modern dunking era.
Vince made every single dunk on his FIRST ATTEMPT. He used cousin and future Orlando Magic great Tracy McGrady as his primary assist guy. The announcers called the fight halfway through. It was a spectacle that my generation of basketball fans will never forget. I never believed that I would see a better dunk, until…
I need a cigarette. Vince Carter’s dunk over Frederic Weis in the 2000 Sydney Olympics is the greatest in-game dunk of all time. The French announcers just add a little je ne sais quoi to the moment. I just learned from Weis’ Wikipedia that the French media called it “le dunk de la mort.” That is so French and beautiful.
This dunk ended Weis’ career. Weis, a true 7’2”, was drafted 15th overall by the Knicks (lol) in the 1999 draft, but he refused to come to the US and play in the NBA. I, too, would be hesitant to see the guy responsible for the “mort” in le dunk de la mort ever again.
Before you ask yourself why I didn’t know about the Jordan logo at age 9, this was me, circa age 9.
Fun story. Shortly after this dunk, I was in Las Vegas for my uncle’s wedding. I was nine years old and really wanted to get an airbrushed tattoo on my calf, because nine-year-olds are creatures. Anyway, I settled on a very temporary tattoo of the Jordan logo because I thought it was an image of Vince Carter dunking over Weis. The tattoo, unlike this dunk, was an abomination, but I wore that thing proudly as we walked to Circus Circus to play $20 carnival games.
The other very overlooked part of this highlight was Kevin Garnett’s brief flirtation with death. If Vince had landed that post-mort punch, KG’s entire livelihood may have been at risk. Would have been a real shame if Vince had connected and inadvertently stopped the Celtics before the Big Three got together and ruined my life for half a decade.
I am placating myself with this clip, because nobody else really reminisces about the Vince-Orlando era with any level of fondness. But, at the time, I really talked myself into believing that this trade was the trade that would get the team over the hump.
The Magic traded for Vince and Ryan Anderson the year after their finals run, which ended tragically in Orlando with a tearful Zach Zimmerman in the nosebleeds of Amway Arena. Vince replaced Courtney Lee in the starting lineup and was expected to add some serious heat to an already dominant franchise.
I vividly remember his 48-point game as the moment when I aggressively started talking shit to everybody I knew, especially Lakers fans. This was it. The NBA was cooked.
Except, it wasn’t. Let’s bring in YouTube commentor Rel Boogie to summarize the results of the season:
I hope the magics win one before I die.
There is no singular dunk from this reel worth highlighting. The main point is that Vince Carter is/was still effortlessly dunking in his 40s against NBA competition. The fact that he finished career on the Hawks and has been on the fringe of retirement for years has caused us to take him for granted. But before we fully move on to Zion, we cannot and should not forget the specimen that is VC, the four-decade dunker who shattered the ceiling of NBA athleticism.
Vince, here’s to you, your career, and Daytona Beach, Florida, the land of dreams.
What I listened to today
Daytona used to be THE spring break spot. Sometimes, I get deep into the live-beach-performance rabbit hole. I spared your ears with my favorite Blink 182 show from the Bandshell. Instead, you’ll get blessed by Naughty by Nature, live from Daytona Beach in 1993.
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Let me know which Vince highlights I missed or what other videos I should explore in the comments below.
Hang in there. Sports will be back soon(?)